3 Lesson learns in my 20s
I’m 29, with just one more year until I turn 30 – a milestone that many consider the most important in life. On this Saturday morning, Sipping a tasty cup of black coffee amidst the Central Highlands, it’s time to reflect on the past 10 years of my life, which served as the foundation for the next chapter of my life. Here are the three most important lessons that I always keep in mind and am happy to share with all of you, my dear readers.
1. You can’t live without a goal
Yes, the only thing that keep us moving every single day is our motivation, and where does it come from? It is from our dream, the dream of a destination we can enjoy as a reward. So, knowing your destination in advance before doing anything is the best way to give you motivation. In order words, you must clearly define your future goal if you want to achieve it, the ultimate goal will lead every step along the journey.
When I was 18, my goal was to get into a technical university, so I focus on the subjects that needed. And in the fresh year, my biggest question was “what I really want to do after graduation?” I always want to become an entrepreneur, define my own way of working, operate my own organization and completely independent decision making. Although it was a blur goal, I don’t know what kind of business I would do, have no business idea or whatsoever. Anyway, with the mindset, I focus on learning the knowledge that an entrepreneur needs to have by that I can be ready when the moment come. So, I focus on improving the following qualities:
- Technical skill
- Financial and business basic understanding
- Become a better communicator
Time flies, 8 years passed Life doesn’t always go as smooth as the naively expectation in my 20, but at least it has been shaping my career path. Currently I’m working in technical field and having my own online teaching business.
One of the saying that’s always true with my personal life is “you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward”
Indeed, you cannot know what will happen tomorrow, the knowledge you learn today is not useful at this moment, but who knows in the future you might need it. Let me give you an example, in my university time, whenever I have spare time, I learnt how to create a website in WordPress – to write blog for fun. Later I realized that I’m not good at writing blog, then I stopped. But several years later, when I was teaching at an English center, I wanted to create a site to further share knowledge to my students, then I created a website for it. One thing led to another, I hated the “robotic” way of teaching at English centers, it is crowed of students in a class, they don’t have enough chance to practice. Some students ask me if I can teach them privately then I decided to leave the Center and created my own online center. That’s how Vtenglish was born.
To summarize the importance of having a clear goal before diving into anything:
- A goal helps you to stay focus
- A goal keeps you on track
- A goal gives you motivation
- A goal is the standard to measure your progress
2. You will regret about things you didn’t do
It is a known fact that people tend to regret about what they didn’t do rather than what they did, at least you try you will get experiences and stories to share later, if you don’t dare to do, you will surely someday wonder “what if…?”:
- What if I say yes to do that job?
- What if I start my own venture when I was 20, instead of stuck in the current rat race.
People often procrastinate on a decision that’s they are going to make, that often leads to missing opportunities in their life. It is good to consider factors “do” vs “Don’t Do” whenever you are about to make a choice, but please remember nothing is perfect so does your decision. I’m consider myself as a hustle a heart-driven person, if I have an urge to do something, I simply try to find the way to make it happen. I often make quick decisions without think too much detail about it. It helps me to achieve what I want multiple times but also brings me trouble sometimes as well. After all I’ve never regretted about any decisions that I made along the way. Because I knew that if I don’t give it a shot, I would have regretted the choice forever and would have wondered for the rest of my life what could have been.
Just earlier this year, during the Tet holiday a friend of mine mentioned that he always wants to open a beef steak restaurant, but he doesn’t want to do it alone and was looking for a partner. I asked him to share more details about his idea, it was just an idea, he had a contact of a food chain company, and we can open as a franchise for the chain. He estimated the total initial investment, after a half of day I agreed to join in.
During the course of that half day, I have looked up information about this type of business and found out it is a common model, it was a trend 2 years ago, people still like the food from this chain. Not a breakthrough business idea, but it is still good chance to make some extra money. Moreover, it is an interesting venture and such a good chance to learn about F&B business.
Then after the holiday, it took us 2 weeks from scratch to the opening day, we surprised all our friends about how fast we went. There were tons of things we were not aware at the beginning, from hiring, training, and retaining teammates to legal, manage customer complaint. But since we already started, the pressures force us to learn, because learning is the only way that help us to keep the restaurant alive and profitable. After lots of modifications and corrections, 2 months afterwards we could partly delegate and automatic the process.
We ran the business for 7 months, it was a profitable one (not much), but it is fun, and I did learn a lot about F&B management, not only theories but critical practical insights. Unfortunately, last month the landlord sold the property, so he broke and compensated us as stated in the rental contract.
Financial wise it was a good decision, since we recoup the investment and gain good side income as well as accumulating practical experiences during the period. But because of spending too much time on that business I couldn’t focus on Vtenglish and time for my loved one as well, it brings me consequences. Being said that I still love the decision of opening the restaurant, if I didn’t do it, I would not have such a story to tell you as now.
So don’t be hesitate with your decision, don’t wait until the perfect moment comes!
3. Friend and acquaintance are 2 different words
Society is the combination of different stereotype of people. In my own definition, friends are people who know ourselves well, and the other way around. people having the same “wavelength” with you, people you know about and believe in. The ones you support when they are in the downtime and willing to back you up whenever you need. The ones that even for a long time apart and suddenly meet up again, you still feel close and comfortable to hang out with. Friendship isn’t automatically created, we need to cultivate it by the time, it is the combination of respect the difference, a win-win mindset and proven by time. Other than that, let’s consider as acquaintances. We all must create our own circle of relationship. In the working life, as we are hopping from one job to another, the environment keeps changing constantly so do our acquaintances.
Let me give you an example, in 2016 I graduated I worked as an R&D engineer, I met and worked with a lot of incredible co-workers. Our department had more than 10 engineers, we worked and hangout all the time. But after leaving the company in 2017 I only keep in touch with three dudes, you know what, it is about the “wave” I mentioned above. The guys who became my friends were the ones we can talk about non-working stuff. People you can only talk about work related stuff are your coworkers, but a friend is more than that.
Everyone is difference from each other, we believe in what we believe in, regardless of common sense of right or wrong. You can bring up your own opinions and the same logic applied for others. So let create the foundation for a long-lasting friendship based on respect the difference, a win-win mindset and last but not least time will either strengthen or weaken your friendship.
Hope you enjoy!
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